EDA: Strategies for 3-year olds

General Strategies to Help a 3-Year-Old with EDA:

1. Reduce Direct Demands

• Instead of saying, "Put your shoes on," try, "I wonder if your shoes want to go on your feet."

• Use indirect language, humor, or choices to encourage cooperation.

2. Offer Choices & Control

• Give two options: "Would you like to put on your socks first or your shoes?"

• Let them feel in control while guiding them toward the goal.

3. Use Play & Imagination

• Turn tasks into a game: "Let's see if your shoes are faster than mine!"

• Engage in role-play where their favorite character completes a task.

4. Predictability & Flexibility

• Routines help, but too much rigidity can increase anxiety. Offer "soft structure" by preparing them in advance for transitions but allowing for some flexibility.

5. Reduce Anxiety & Triggers

• Create a calm environment with minimal pressure.

• Watch for sensory sensitivities (loud noises, textures, etc.) and adjust accordingly.

6. Praise & Encouragement

• Instead of direct praise ("Good job!"), try indirect praise: "Wow, your shoes are on! That was clever."

7. Use Visual Supports

• Picture schedules or social stories can help prepare them for tasks without direct verbal demands.

Supporting a 3-year-old with EDA in a classroom environment requires a flexible, low-demand approach that reduces anxiety while encouraging participation. Here are some key strategies:

1. Create a Low-Demand, Flexible Routine

• Keep a predictable structure, but allow room for flexibility.

• Use visual schedules (with pictures) to help the child anticipate transitions.

• Avoid sudden changes - prepare them in advance when possible.

2. Use Indirect Language & Playful Engagement

• Instead of "It's time to sit," try, "I wonder if the chair is waiting for you."

• Make tasks fun (e.g., "Let's tiptoe like a mouse to the carpet").

3. Offer Choices & Control

• "Would you like to sit on the red mat or the blue mat?"

• Let them choose between two acceptable activities if they resist one.

4. Use a Key Person for Support

• A trusted adult can help ease anxiety by offering reassurance and a safe space.

• They can use a calm, encouraging approach to help with transitions.

5. Provide a Safe Retreat Area

• A quiet corner with soft seating where the child can go if overwhelmed.

• Allow them to step away and rejoin when they're ready.

6. Avoid Direct Praise & Pressure

• Instead of "Great job!", try "That was really clever how you put the blocks together."

• Celebrate small successes but without overwhelming them with attention.

7. Support Social Interactions Gently

• Encourage play through parallel play (side-by-side activities).

• Use a "special helper" role to encourage involvement without pressure.

Supporting a 3-Year-Old with EDA in Group Time, Transitions, and Participation:

Children with Extreme Demand Avoidance (EDA) often struggle with structured activities, transitions, and social participation due to anxiety around expectations. Here are some tailored strategies to help in a classroom setting:

Group Time (Circle Time, Story Time, etc.)

Challenges:

• Struggles to sit still or engage in group activities.

• Avoids participation or disrupts the session.

• Anxiety about being watched or expected to perform.

Strategies:

• Offer Alternative Ways to Participate: Instead of sitting in the circle, allow the child to sit slightly apart or hold a comfort object. Some children prefer standing or using a fidget toy.

• Use Playful Invitations Instead of Commands: Instead of "Come sit down," try "The story needs a special listener over here!"

• Reduce Pressure to Respond: If asking questions, allow non-verbal responses (e.g., pointing, nodding) or let them answer when they feel ready.

• Use a Soft Start: Let them join at their own pace rather than insisting they sit immediately.

• Keep it Short & Engaging: Use props, movement, or songs to maintain interest.

Transitions (Moving Between Activities, Leaving the Classroom, etc.)

Challenges:

• Difficulty stopping one activity and starting another.

• Resistance to sudden changes or demands.

• Emotional outbursts or shutting down.

Strategies:

• Give Advance Warning: Use a visual timer, countdown, or gentle cues: "In 2 minutes, we're going to put the toys to sleep."

• Use Indirect Language: Instead of "Time to clean up," say, "I wonder where the toys like to rest at the end of the day."

• Offer Choices & Control: "Would you like to hop or tiptoe to the door?" "Do you want to clean up the red blocks or the blue ones first?"

• Use a Transition Object: A small toy or picture card can help ease the shift from one activity to another.

• Provide a Safe Escape Route: If the child resists a transition, allow them to step aside and join when ready.

Participation in Activities

Challenges:

• Avoids tasks, even ones they usually enjoy.

• Says "I can't" or refuses without explanation.

• Becomes overwhelmed when expectations are too high.

Strategies:

• Allow Parallel Participation: Let them observe or engage from the side instead of forcing direct participation.

• Turn it Into a Game: If they resist painting, say, "Let's see if the paintbrush wants to dance on the paper."

• Use a Buddy System: Pair them with a trusted friend or teacher to reduce pressure.

• Respect "No" But Keep the Door Open: If they refuse, say, "That's okay, you can watch for now, and if you change your mind, we'd love to have you."

• Make Participation Feel Like Their Idea: "I need someone to help me with this-who could be my secret helper?"

Final Tips for Success

• Low-demand approach - Encourage rather than insist.

• Routine with flexibility - Predictable but adaptable schedules.

• Positive but indirect encouragement - Avoid direct pressure or forced praise.